The Name Game

The moment has finally arrived and you get to meet your new bundle of joy. Baby meet mommy, mommy meet...but wait, you haven’t settled on a name yet! All the preparing, nesting and breathing classes are behind you and now you are face-to-face with your new child. Suddenly, it feels like the world’s responsibilities are on your shoulders starting with that perfect name. You ponder the consequences of each of the names on your ever changing shortlist. Will they love or hate the name? What will others think? Will it work for my child as a baby and as an adult?

“I try to tell my patients and friends to have some fun and not think of selecting a name as an onerous task,” says registered nurse Cindy Zizek. “Instead of looking at the name as another responsibility, think of this as an opportunity to create an identity for your child. This is also a great opportunity to daydream with your partner about what your child will look like and your child’s unique personality – all a part of the exciting role of bringing a baby into the world.”

So what exactly is in a name? It depends on who you ask. Celebrities are turning to peculiar and made-up names for their babies that are pushing the boundaries of convection. With celebrities-in-training saddled with names that represent fruit and animals, celebrity-following moms-to-be around the world may be reconsidering their options.

Beyond Hollywood, parents are both fortunate and cursed with more options than ever before. There are a number of social influences that affect the names we consider. Television and the internet have broadened our knowledge of names making picking one vastly different than 50 years ago. Living in a generation immersed in the internet means names popular in one culture may be transcending geographical boundaries.

Having trouble choosing a name? These tips can help:

• What do you like? You will say this name or hear others say your child’s name more times than you can imagine. Is this a name you love to hear over and over and over?
• Select a name your child will like. While we don’t have a crystal ball to see your child’s future personality or temperament, you may still want to consider if any child will like this name as they grow up. Is it a name they will be able to pronounce as a child? And is it suitable for both a baby and an adult?
• Abbreviate it! How does this name sound shortened? For example, do you love Oliver, but are not a fan of Ollie? Consider other root forms of the name such as Chuck for Charles and know that some of these nicknames will be out of your control, no matter how hard you try to avoid them
• Initial it. Using just the initials, does your child’s full name (given, middle and surname) spell a word all its own? Try this same exercise with just the first initial of the given name and your full last name to see if this sounds or spells out something all on its own
• Keep edgy in the middle. Perhaps a name you love is just too unusual. If so, consider using it as a unique middle name or save it for the family pet
• Play the rhyme game. Consider all the names that rhyme with your child’s name to rule out nicknames you may not want your child called. Try this again with any possible short forms of your child’s name
• Pop culture trends. Certain names make waves because of their immersion in pop culture. For example we could see Kate (as in Middleton) or Quinn (character in Glee) for a girl as a popular name in the coming years
• Make it up. A new trend in name giving is to make a name new by dropping or adding letters from a traditional name such as Michele instead of Michelle. While others are creating new names entirely. Remember to do your research. What may be new to you, may have meaning in another language
• Old and classic are making a comeback. Classic names such as Phillip and Charlotte are back in a big way. Look for names in period piece books from authors like Jane Austen or the Bronte sisters. Or open a bible. Those traditional names like Noah, Elijah and Hannah are also now in vogue
• Consider the origin of the name. Research what the name means and where it originated. Or consider the reverse. Look into the meanings of names to describe a trait you hope your child will embody. For example, the very popular girls name Sophia means wisdom in Greek
• Check the name’s popularity. There are numerous web sites that track the most popular boys’ and girls’ names. You need to consider if you want your child to be the only one in his class with his name or if you want him to be part of the trend

“Most people spend the first 18 years of their life trying to fit in,” says Zizek. “That doesn’t mean that you need to select a name that conforms to conventional standards, but it does mean that you might want to reconsider names that are easily made fun of or are easy for children to pick on.”

Occasionally, the difficult part for you and your partner is coming to an agreement on a name. What you think is the perfect name, may be just the opposite for your spouse. Just like everything else in your relationship, selecting a name should be based on compromise and respect. Consider grabbing a baby book and selecting a dozen names that you each like. Then compare lists selecting the top three names that you both like.

Now that you have a list of names, what is the next step? Here are a few tips to help narrow down the choice.

• Ask the class clown. If you are not sure if the names are perfect, ask a quick witted friend their opinion. They might be able to offer some insight, some rhyming options you had not considered, or at the very least, an immature perspective on the names selected
• Confide in a friend. Ask a trusted source what they think of the names you’ve selected. This can help quickly narrow down the choices
• Get online. A popular trend is to ask your friends their opinion of the names you’ve selected through one of the many social media outlets. Much like guessing the weight of your soon-to-be-child or guessing the date they will arrive, get friends to weigh in on names or offer new names. Be forewarned: honest opinions may arise
• Keep it to yourself. If you’ve truly fallen in love with a name, or two, and don’t want to hear anyone else’s opinion, keep the name between you and your partner. Chances are too many people will have an opinion that may sway your decision

In the end, the name you select will always have a special meaning for you and your family. Select a name that is right for your child and they will carry it proudly for a lifetime.